


I Turn My Camera On

by parkersharthook



Series: bucky barnes fics [6]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Engaged, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Insecurities, bucky is reminiscing, mentions of past memory problems, photos are included in story on tumblr, they find some old photos, young bucky is hot ngl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:47:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24192322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parkersharthook/pseuds/parkersharthook
Summary: You found some old photographs and Bucky remembers things-I reccommend reading this one on tumblr @parkersharthook bc there are visuals and I can't embed them in the story on here like I can with tumblr :)
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Series: bucky barnes fics [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1745854
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	I Turn My Camera On

The door opened up with a small creak. “Hey baby what are you doing?” Bucky tossed his keys and wallet on the dresser before flopping onto the bed behind him, groaning slightly as he stretched out on the mattress.

He peered over the pillow he had previously dug his face into and scrunched his nose slightly, “I know you’re worried about packing up on time but baby, we still have a few weeks in the apartment.”

“yeah and if it were up to you, we’d do it all the night before.” You quipped back easily as you threw him a smirk over your shoulder. He huffed out a laugh and rolled his eyes as he fell back onto the bed.

“but no actually… I found a photo album.”

Bucky rolled to the side of the bed, his left side hanging off as he looked to where you were sitting on the floor, photos surrounding you.

“A photo album? Of what?”

“of… it was…” You stuttered as your thumbs slightly fingered an older black and white photo, “it’s of you, Bucky.”

Bucky furrowed his brows and sat up, confusion evident on his face. He grabbed the photo you were handing to him and let his blue eyes roam over it for a moment.

“that’s um… that was taken…” Bucky stammered out, his throat suddenly feeling dry. He swallowed thickly before taking a deep breath and letting himself smile at the photo.

“That’s Frenchie on the left, me of course, and then Jones, and Monty on the right.”

You smiled softly as the man looked on with seemingly fond memories. You were going to continue but Bucky beat you to it with a small laugh as he continued to look at the old photograph. “Frenchie, Jacques, was always the smart one, no matter how stupid he sounded sometimes. He knew his way around chemicals too. Jones, Gabe Jones, probably was the smartest man I met. I swear he spoke every language and just knew everything… all the time.” Bucky paused for a moment to meet your eyes, his now a little glossier than before. “He was the one that made you feel like you were gonna survive the war.” A little laughter escaped his lips, “then there’s Monty, he always hated when we called him that. His real name was James Montgomery Falsworth, but that’s a mouthful plus two James, can’t have that.” Bucky shook his head slightly.

“It’s a really sweet photo Buck.” You ventured cautiously

Bucky smiled and nodded, finally meeting your gaze for an extended period of time. “yeah it is. They were some of the best guys that I knew.”

You glanced down to the rest of the album, “Were these photos yours?”

Bucky nodded and slid down to join you on the floor, his back against the bed. “Yeah back when I was still trying to figure out everything up here.” His hands waved non directionally around his head, “I kept a photo album of me, my sister, my mom, Steve, the commandos, really anything that was tied to my past.” He glanced at the photos, “I forgot I had these.” He let a genuine smile onto his face, “guess I don’t need them anymore, do I?”

You scooted closer to him and let your hand crawl up the back of his neck to card your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck, “you’ve come a long way Buck. I’m really proud of you.”

He grabbed your hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it, “yeah, I have. But you’ve helped a long way too.”

You glanced back to the photos, “I can pack these up for you or….?”

Bucky smiled and gave your hand a reassuring squeeze, “we can keep looking through them.”

“I’m glad you said that because there’s one that I have a question about.”

It was another photo of Bucky, Monty, and some other kid you didn't recognize. But you only had eyes for the young, clean-shaven sergeant who gazed at the camera with a sultry look and a tipped hat.

Bucky laughed a little as he took the photo. He shot you that charming smile you knew too well. “what’s your question, baby?”

“well did you know that you were a soldier or did you think you were a model?” Bucky barked out a laugh and you giggled as well. “Because the pose, the look, the off-centered hat… it’s all very vogue.”

Bucky shook his head fondly and gave your cheek a chaste kiss. “very funny.”

You looked at him with a beaming smile, he swore he felt his heart stop. You poked his chest and laughed again, “and I’m not even joking.”

“no, doll, I wasn’t trying to model.”

“oh really? Then how do you explain this?”

This photo had Bucky standing in front of a wall, his shirt unbuttoned at the top and messily tucked into his dark pants. His eyes were slightly squinted, probably against the sun, and his stance was carefree and slightly off-centered.

“because you look like a model to me. A very sexy, hunky, sexy, rugged, did I say sexy… model.” You inched closer until you were straddling your fiancé’s lap. Bucky threw his head back in laughter as he gripped your hips. You leaned in to nip at his neck but Bucky pushed your mouth away slightly causing you to pout.

He looked at you, his mood changing slightly to be more serious. It sobered you up a bit. You frowned slightly, running your hands through his slightly shaggy hair. “what’s going on baby?”

“you know that I’m not that man anymore, right? Yes, I’ve worked through a lot of my shit and I’m doing a lot better than when you first met me… but I’ll never be the same guy I was. 40s Bucky is gone.” His voice was soft, almost sad but not quite.

You furrowed your brows, “why would you think I want 40s Bucky?”

Bucky shrugged, his still lingering insecurities now on display. “I see the way you’re looking at the photos of me, and I know you’ve heard the stories and read the reports. I was energetic and youthful back then. I could take a girl on a date without worrying about having a panic attack. I didn’t have nightmares. I was a complete man back then…”

“and you’re a complete man now Bucky.” You cupped his face firmly and forced him to look at you, “you may be a different man now, but it’s no better or worse than before. It’s just different.” You pondered for a moment, “no actually it is better. You’ve seen so much and yet you made it to the other side as a caring and genuine person. That’s huge, Bucky.”

He sighed and close his eyes for a brief moment, “yeah I know… I’m sorry about getting all insecure. I’ve been working on it. I just- I saw you looking at the photos with such… I don’t know… excitement? And it’s just… I’m not that man anymore but I still want to bring you that joy now.”

“Bucky,” the way his name fell from your lips was so earnest it forced him to give you his undivided attention, “You do bring me that joy now you buffoon. I wouldn’t be engaged to you if you didn’t, I do have some standards you know.” You both chuckled at that before you continued, “I got excited because it’s not every day that you see someone else’s memories. I’m sure you would get the same glint in your eyes if I showed you childhood photos.”

Bucky let out a shaky breath, “yeah you’re right. I’m being unreasonable.”

“no. You don’t get to do that here.” Bucky rose a brow in confusion at your words. “You don’t get to invalidate your feelings. It’s okay to get insecure, it happens to all of us. Just know that you can always talk to me about it, for better or for worse. Okay?” silence. You pushed his cheeks together, “okay?”

He nodded with a small smile, “okay.” He pressed a light kiss to your lips, “same goes for you. I know you don’t like to ‘burden’ me with your problems but I want them all. The good and the bad, I want to be one of those annoying couples who tells each other everything.”

You laughed softly, “I promise you… we already are. Sam complains about it all the time.” Bucky let out a hearty laugh. You looked back to the photos, “in the theme of honesty, there is one more thing I want to say.”

“what’s that?”

You reached behind your back and picked up another photo, “this… this one is my favorite.”

It showed a significantly skinnier and younger Bukcy, sitting casually on the broken, stone steps of what looked to be a desolate city. You guessed it was taken somewhere in Europe during the war but you couldn't be sure. His arms were leaning against his bent knees and the suspenders stretched against his shoulders.

Bucky looked at the photo curiously before looking back at your face, “can I ask why?”

“a few reasons. One, those suspenders look hot on you.” A deep laugh filled the air. “Two, you look so carefree and relaxed and that’s my favorite look on you… second to suspenders now. And three, I see this and it reminds me of when I come home from the grocery store and you’re sitting on the step of our apartment building because you forgot your key when you went on your run.”

Bucky sighed, smile still present, and hung his head. “it does happen quite a bit.”

“and sure… you’re a different man and you’ve got a metal arm now. But… you’re the same man I’ve always known and while the guy in the picture is a hottie,” you stared directly into Bucky’s eyes as you uttered your next words, “the guy in front of me is much hotter.”

Bucky smiled and surged forward to press a solid kiss to your lips. “I love you so much sweetheart.”

“I love you too.”

A few moments of comfortable silence passed before Bucky interrupted it.

“should I get a haircut?”

You studied his head and ran your fingers through his locks. He had been keeping it shorter lately but had gotten behind on his haircuts due to his busy schedule.

“it might be time for a trim. But it’s up to you.” You gave it another once over, “I like it long too but honestly this just looks shaggy.”

He nodded and held you closer to his body, laying his head on your shoulder. You hugged his body close, hands running over the broad expanse of his shoulders and up the nape of his neck.

It was again another comfortable silence before Bucky had to ruin it.

“Do you think the metal arm is sexy?

You couldn’t help the snort that flew passed your lips as your body shook. You nodded with another laugh.

“I think it’s very sexy, baby.”

“good.” You could practically hear the smugness in his voice as he quickly stood up with you in his arms and gently tossing you on the bed. He quickly shed his shirt and smirked at you, “let me show you just how much better and experienced I am now.”

You laughed as he dropped his weight on you, lips quickly being captured by Bucky. You broke the kiss a little breathlessly and fluttered your eyelashes at him, “I can’t wait… _sergeant_.”

**Author's Note:**

> leave a comment and a kudos :))
> 
> requests are open
> 
> tumblr: parkersharthook
> 
> the photos are included in the story on tumblr if you wanna see them!


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